South Park’s Top 10 Greatest Free-Market Hits

Posted by on Nov 28 2012 | Media, Politics, Popular Culture, PPC

One of the reasons Freedom is in retreat is that the Left creates the narrative. They tell the stories. They write the songs. They make the jokes. Our culture’s entertainment is almost solely the purview of the Left. And hidden inside those stories and tunes and jokes are the messages of collectivism and political correctness. Artists and entertainers have become the greatest sales force for command-and-control authoritarianism.

For the most part we on team Liberty just suck at entertainment. I mean we stink at it, and for a whole bunch of reasons: our team is prudish, stale, peevish and as easy to be offended as a Women’s Studies professor. We are great in communicating within our own team. We like to sing to our choir. News flash: our choir keeps getting smaller. And we keep losing.

But the biggest reason we can’t sell our message in entertainment is that when we try, we lead with the message and then attempt to make the entertainment fit around it. Think of the failed Fox News’ Half Hour News Hour or the comedy movie An American Carol. If you haven’t seen them or even heard of them, I rest my case.

The Left knows how to lead with entertainment first, not message. The humor and jokes, the compelling tale, and the great music come first. Then they slip in the message, insults and whiny lyrics. “30 Rock” and “Saturday Night Live” go for the yucks first. If that doesn’t work, it doesn’t matter what the message is;- no one will hear it. (By the way, I want to become Jack Donaghy. Damn Alec Baldwin.)

Freedom, however, has at least one outlet in Hollywood that makes people laugh and, maybe by no intentional way, weaves in pro-liberty messages – South Park.

This raunchy animated show on Comedy Central does what almost no one on the Right does: it reaches people who might not consider themselves limited-government fans, then convinces them that they just might be.

South Park‘s creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, like me, survived the fascist political correctness and forced liberalism of the University of Colorado. That compelled me into politics. It drove them into show business. I’d submit they do a better job illustrating the danger of overly burdensome government than I do.

So, here it is, the list of all lists, the one you’ve been waiting for – the top 10 free market, limited government, stop-the-nanny-state episodes of South Park. WARNING: this show is immature, childish, highly offensive, and just plain gross. I wonder why I like it. Did I mention it’s offensive? Watch at your own risk.

  • #10: ManBearPig – Former Vice-President, Al Gore, speaks to the students of South Park Elementary about a serious threat to the planet; Manbearpig. Gore enlists the boy’s help to search for the elusive creature and gets them all trapped in a cave-in.
  • #9: Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes – The Main Street of South Park starts looking like a ghost town when a giant Wall Mart lures all the townspeople to its newest store with all of its incredible bargains. Cartman becomes possessed by the power of Wall Mart and its low, low prices. In order to save South Park, Stan and Kyle have to find a way to destroy the ever-expanding superstore while keeping Cartman from stabbing them in the back.
  • #8: Follow that Egg! – Mrs. Garrison realizes that he still has feelings for Mr. Slave. But, Mr. Slave has moved on and plans to marry his new love as soon as the governor signs the same-sex marriage bill. Mrs. Garrison leads the charge against gay marriage.
  • #7: I’m a Little Bit Country – The boys join some anti-war protesters because it’s a free pass out of school for the day. Their simple plan to protest their way out of class goes south when they find themselves in the middle of the two opposing sides of the issue. Meanwhile, Cartman attempts a flashback to 1776 to avoid studying for his American History assignment.
  • #6: Death Camp of Tolerance – Mr. Garrison desperately tries to get fired from his new job as South Park Elementary’s 4th grade teacher and presents his assistant, Mr. Slave. Meanwhile, the boys get sent to the Deathcamp of Intolerance for not tolerating Mr. Garrison’s intolerable behavior. Lemmiwinks the gerbil guest-stars.
  • #5: Medicinal Fried Chicken – A new Colorado Law makes smoking marijuana legal, as long as you’ve got a physician’s reference. Randy’s first in line but is denied because of his pristine health record. Desperate to get a medical excuse, he takes some ballsy measures. Meanwhile, Cartman faces the ultimate crisis when all of his favorite fried chicken restaurants are replaced with medicinal marijuana shops.
  • #4: Butt Out – Representatives from the anti-smoking campaign rap about the dangers of smoking for the children of South Park. For fear of growing up to be giant nerds, the boys decide to take up the nasty habit.
  • #3: Reverse Cowgirl – One of the boys had been told time and time again about leaving the toilet seat up after he goes to the bathroom, but he didn’t listen. His actions have consequences and ultimately result in an unimaginable catastrophe.
  • #2: Gnomes – Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny are assigned to write a report with Tweek, the very nervous and highly caffeinated boy who insists gnomes are stealing his underpants. When they are unable to come up with a topic, Tweek’s father offers to write the paper, and uses this opportunity to vent his frustration at the corporate juggernaut Harbuck’s Coffee and its attempt to drive him out of business. Meanwhile, the boys try to stay awake to see if the underpants gnomes truly exist.
  • #1: Smug Alert – Kyle and his family are moving to San Francisco. The only way Stan can get his best friend back is to convince everyone to start driving hybrid cars. Just as everyone starts to feel really good about what they’re doing for the environment, scientists discover a stormy, dark mass accumulating over the town.
  • 2 comments for now

    2 Responses to “South Park’s Top 10 Greatest Free-Market Hits”

    1. This may be the greatest blog post of all time! In honor of 9th and Colorado, and all its neighbors, I watched the “Wallmart” episode. I learned what to expect when I die, and where to find the heart of “Wallmart.” 21 minutes of my life that I will never get back, thanks to Jon Caldera.

      28 Nov 2012 at 10:49 pm

    2. Felt compelled to link to you here:

      28 Nov 2012 at 11:13 pm

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