This December will be the tenth anniversary of the death of my daughter Parker.
I remember at the time wondering if there was even a glimmer of a chance that I could survive ten minutes, no less ten years into the future. Thanks to the kind hearts of more people than I could ever thank, I am still here.
Like so many people who didn’t have children, I thought I had a pretty good handle on the world. After becoming a parent I realized just how little I really knew; being Parker’s dad was humbling. I had no concept how little I understood of love before Parker came. I had such an odd concept of what was important before her. Parker was my only child at the time and the center of the universe. By all appearances she was thriving and perfect.
Just over two weeks before Parker’s first birthday we found she had a lemon-sized tumor in her head. The next day we found that it was cancer and it had spread to her spine. The next day, after a biopsy, we found that it was likely a vicious cancer for which there is no cure. During surgery they implanted a stint to relieve the painful swelling caused by the fluid building around the tumor.
I walked into the recovery room, and there she was. She looked so beautiful in spite of tubes going in and out of her head and arms, and a stifling tangle of wires attached all over her. She looked up at me with an expression that just screamed, “Daddy, why are you letting them do this to me? What have I done wrong?”
Two days later the pathology report confirmed her death sentence. Armed only with a morphine pump we took my little girl home to die. Less than a week before her first birthday she was gone.
I can’t explain, because there no words to explain, the helplessness and powerlessness of holding your only child as she suffers in pain and confusion knowing there is nothing, nothing you can do but watch and pray you could somehow trade places.
I knew this kind of thing doesn’t happen to me and mine; it happens to other people. Now I know it does happen, and it happens to families just like yours too. That’s one of the reasons YOU need to care about the Children’s Hospital. They did the very best they could for my little girl and treated her with the dignity and love she deserved. Parker had the very best doctors and nurses at her call.
I hate to tell you that if this could happen to my family, it could happen to yours. And if that should ever happen you will thank God that people had given to make Children’s Hospital the place it is.
A dear friend, Tracy Smith, every year takes part in a fund-raiser for Children’s – the Courage Classic bike ride. She does so in the name of my little girl Parker. I am asking you personally to make a pledge to her effort. Please do it to help keep Parker’s memory alive. Please do it to save the child like Parker in your life.
Donate here, http://www.couragetours.com/2011/tracy_smith
All my thanks,
Jon